Monday, 28 November 2016


Sometimes we just complicate things. Rather, we choose to complicate things & are uncomfortable when something is SIMPLE. We have managed to condition ourselves in such a way that complicated is the way of life. We cannot believe that somethings are simple. Our mind refuses to accept simple things. So much so that we try & find a way to blow them out of proportion to make it acceptable, to us. 

Marriage is one such thing. I do not wish to comment on whether it is a holy union or an institution. All I know & understand is that it is two people who choose to share a life. Simple isn't it ? Yes it is & it should be. But all I hear is the socially acceptable version of a marriage. In this version, people talk all about the consequences, the do's & don'ts, the ideal marriage, various strategies to make it work, the role of family, the division of responsibilities, the loss of freedom & so on. In the midst of all these, the real marriage is lost. In fact  the real meaning of marriage has almost been replaced with all these. No wonder people today are scared of getting married. 

In all contexts that the term marriage is used, it is either exaggerated or complicated. In either case, the perspective is society. All aspects of marriage are strongly based on a validation by society. Isn't it strange that marriage today is actually a social obligation ? When did this really happen ? When did we start living to set a socially acceptable example rather than living a life ? We live in a society where "Married" is a synonym to "settled". And we choose to follow the rules put up by this society & try hard to instill these as values in our children. Anyone who questions these is termed a Rebel. 

Marriage cannot be milestone to be achieved. It need not be blown out of proportion. It can be simple & beautiful. It is a choice you make, whenever you think you are ready & not because you have reached the "right" age. It is not bound by age, life stage or any such thing. All the other things can be sorted out & worked upon by the two people who unite. They should be the ones who decide rules of their game. They decide what makes them happy. Aren't they better administrators of their marriage ?

Marriage is not a proof of someone being a normal Human Being. Nor does it make an individual more acceptable. Not yet married does not mean he/she lacks something or is not settled. It simply means he/she hasn't found the "Right for me" yet. 

It really isn't a big deal. It is time we looked at marriage for what it is rather than what we want it to be. Take it on face value & stop over-reading. 

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